


Okay

by stardustandswimmingpools



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Coming Out, Crying, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, I JUST STARTED THIS IN PAST TENSE AND DIDNT STOP, M/M, THE MAJORITY OF MY FICS ARE PRESENT TENSE, WHICH IS SO WEIRD FOR ME, a fuckton, by sheer willpower, davey is a FUCKING nerd and corrects jack's grammar, heavily inspired by another fic which i will link, i forced it to be over 1k words, idk - Freeform, idk why whatever, is there a tag for like, it just fit here, it's probably unclear but davey also has anxiety, like i said im projecting, lmaoooo, never mind whatever you'll just have to see, poor Davey, the author is projecting, theyre gay ok?? i know it, this is written in past tense, uhh, which i distinctly do not make him do in most of my fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 05:04:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10550536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustandswimmingpools/pseuds/stardustandswimmingpools
Summary: They've been dating for two months. It's about time Davey comes clean.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writeitininkorinblood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeitininkorinblood/gifts).
  * Inspired by [More Than Okay](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/281994) by writeitininkorinblood. 



> so this fic would totally not exist without the unwilling aid of ao3 user writeitininkorinblood aka @thestoryweneededtowrite on tumblr, who wrote [this fic, called More Than Okay](https://thestoryweneededtowrite.tumblr.com/post/144065824312/hey-so-i-know-youve-done-some-fics-about-davey), about Davey coming out as grey-asexual to Jack, and it really hit close to home, so i lowkey made it my own. but anyway  
> YES, this is a projection-filled fic, I am projecting onto davey, leave me alone. i tried to make it, like, in character tho, but also i did make davey cry because i feel like that's 100% what I'd do in his situation  
> also, warning for, like, mentions of sex, but not like _having_ sex, just more like mentioning how he doesn't WANT to have sex. idk just  
>  yeah  
> cool

Davey felt bad.

Not sick-bad; the kind of bad where you feel like your insides are churning and you don't know how to make it go away, so it sits in your stomach until it consumes you.

He felt bad pulling away in the middle of kissing Jack when he started to feel like his skin was too tight or his throat was made of sawdust or there were a thousand bugs all over him. He felt bad giving Jack a dismissive shrug and a nonchalant “I'm tired” every time he did. He felt worse knowing that Jack could have gone forever not knowing why Davey did it, and he still would've let him lean away every time.

But that wasn't fair. And it had been two months. Davey owed Jack this, at least.

Better that Jack break his heart now, before they’d really even started.

It still daunted him, though, and the dark cloud followed him to bed and then out of it the following morning. It lingered in the front of his mind, until even Jack noticed, sitting on the fire escape, when Davey’s grip on his hand grew loose again and his eyes got all faraway.

“Davey?” Jack said uncertainly. “You been out of it a couple days. Everything okay?”

Davey snapped back to reality and readjusted his hold on Jack’s hand, even though now it felt too warm, too close, too much.

“I'm — just thinking,” he answered, trying for a smile that, he knew, didn't reach his eyes.

Jack squeezed his hand. “You think too much, Davey. One day your brain’s just gonna go _pow!_ and explode.” He kissed Davey’s shoulder. “Whatcha thinkin’ so hard about, anyway?”

Davey tensed. Here it was — the perfect opportunity to just _say it_.

Davey wasn’t ready.

He’d never be ready.

“I need to talk to you,” he sighed. No going back now.

These were never words people in relationships wanted to hear, and Davey knew he’d have to finish his thought fast or Jack would assume the worst — had probably already assumed the worst, the way Davey had been acting lately.

“And I’m not breaking up with you,” he added, and watched Jack’s shoulders sag in relief.

“Thank god,” he said, smiling nervously. “Go on, then. I’m listenin’.”

He didn’t say _but you might break up with me, when I’m done_. He didn’t want to give Jack any ideas.

“So — um —” Oh, god, how does one even introduce this topic? “You — damn it, this is hard.” He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“Hey, I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” Jack said reassuringly, and Davey almost laughed because his instinct was to correct Jack’s grammar.

“That’s a double negative.”  

Jack blinked. “Huh?”

“Ain’t going nowhere. It’s a double negative.”

Jack nudged him. “Is that what you were tryin’ to say? That my talkin’s bad?”

“No, no, that’s not — no.” Davey bit his lip. It felt like there was a cold hand clamping over his heart, draining the life from it. “I, um...how do you feel about...sex?”

 _There,_ there it was, he’d said it once, he could do it again.

Davey didn’t miss the way Jack’s eyes widened just a fraction at that. He tried to ignore it.

“I...I don’t really know what you mean by that,” Jack said. “It’s nice, it feels good, I’ve done it before. I guess I figure it’s one o’ them ‘relationship steps’.” He drew finger quotes, but Davey felt his heart clench. Of course it was. “How come?”

Davey swallowed. “What about — what about if you, um, didn’t...have it?”

Jack frowned. “Whaddaya mean?”

“Asexual,” Davey said — _forced_ the word out of his throat before it could sink back into his ribcage and torment him endlessly again. “I mean _I’m_ asexual. And I don’t...want that. Sex. Ever.”

“Definitely?” Jack asked, which just made Davey feel worse, not least because of how quickly the question had come to Jack’s mind.

“Definitely,” he said miserably, hanging his head. “Sorry.”

There was a beat of silence, and then: “Okay.”

“Okay?” Davey looked up; Jack’s eyes were gazing at him, soft and light.

“Okay,” Jack said firmly. “I don’t care. Sex or no sex, I love you all the same. And...I don’t mind.”

Davey shook his head. “You do mind,” he said sadly. “I can tell.”

“Davey.” Jack put two fingers under Davey’s chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. There was a fire in them that Davey had seen less of recently. “I _don’t_. And sure, maybe it’s gonna take some gettin’ used to, but I don’t care. You make me happy, and that’s a damn good deal, ‘specially considering what I been given so far. So what if you don’t want sex? As long as you like _me_ , we’s gonna be just fine, ya hear?”

Davey blinked twice, but it was in vain, and soon the tears springing forward to his eyes were spilling down his cheeks as he squeezed his eyes shut and sniffled.

“Shit.” Jack tangled their fingers together and squeezed Davey’s hand again. “Did I say somethin’ wrong?”

Davey shook his head furiously. Sobs broke through his speech. “No, you — you said everything right, that’s all. I just — thought you were gonna break up with me, or — I don’t know — I feel _terrible_ , and I thought — that was it, this is — the end, no one can love someone who can’t — _satisfy_ them or — or anything, but you…”

Jack didn’t answer, just wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and pulled him into a hug so tight and fierce Davey wasn’t sure he’d ever get out of it. He wouldn’t mind.

“I love you, you know?” Jack whispered into Davey’s neck, and Davey exhaled all of the darkness and fear and anxiety from this _thing_ that had been stalking him, scaring him for days.

“I love you too,” he mumbled into Jack’s shoulder. “So much.” He sniffled again. “And — and thank you.”

Jack just chuckled. “You really think somethin’ as worthless as sex could ever take me from you? Nah, it’s gonna take a little more ‘n that.”

Davey laughed wetly and held Jack tighter.

They were gonna be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> gosh thanks for reading this was...something. anyway, i'm on tumblr @violetparadigm or @vivilevone, or @do-you-ever-really-crash, where i occasionally put newsies stuff tho it is a deh blog, and yeah, bye!


End file.
